{"id":4883,"date":"2025-10-14T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-10-14T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ontdekjeheiligegraal.com\/how-do-you-set-healthy-boundaries\/"},"modified":"2026-06-12T14:58:59","modified_gmt":"2026-06-12T12:58:59","slug":"how-do-you-set-healthy-boundaries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ontdekjeheiligegraal.com\/en\/how-do-you-set-healthy-boundaries\/","title":{"rendered":"How do you set healthy boundaries?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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It was a good friend of mine\u2019s birthday. I knew her and her parties all too well: they were a blast, and there was plenty of drinking. Not long before this party, I had started therapy and discovered what I already knew deep down: I was drinking too much. Like: one bottle of wine too many per night. Or: 7 beers and 3 glasses of wine too many. <\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t want that anymore, because it had led me into some pretty inappropriate<\/strong> situations on several occasions. I could no longer protect my own boundaries<\/strong>, and the other person saw this as an invitation and took advantage of it repeatedly. <\/p>\n

And so I decided that day: I won\u2019t drink more than two glasses of wine. That decision changed my life.<\/span> For the first time, I consciously set a boundary\u2014and stuck to it. That evening, a guy at the party suggested I stay over at his place so I could drink more. And right away, I realized: setting boundaries feels SO GOOD!<\/span> <\/p>\n

“By setting boundaries, you choose what or whom you want to connect with\u2014and what or whom you don’t.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Workshop on Reestablishing Healthy Boundaries<\/h2>\n

If our boundaries<\/strong> were crossed earlier in life, or if we didn\u2019t learn what our boundaries<\/strong> are, it\u2019s often very difficult to clearly set our boundaries later in life.<\/p>\n

I see this all the time in my coaching practice. That\u2019s why I\u2019ve created a 13-part online course: How do I (re)establish healthy boundaries?<\/strong><\/span><\/a> In this course, we explore what healthy boundaries<\/strong> are, how they\u2019ve become unhealthy, and what you can do to set healthy boundaries or, if necessary, enforce them. <\/p>\n

Influence from the past<\/h3>\n

In my life, it wasn\u2019t easy to learn how to set healthy boundaries<\/strong>. Neither inside nor outside the family was it entirely safe: sexual abuse is, of course, a severe form of boundary violation<\/strong>, but so is being bullied and growing up in an environment where it\u2019s not your will (because it\u2019s selfish) but God\u2019s, does not help in developing healthy boundaries. <\/p>\n

As a result, in my young adult life, I struggled to say \u201cstop, cut it out\u201d and to take my own \u201cno\u201d seriously. Let alone for others to do so. On top of that, I was chronically afraid of rejection<\/strong><\/a> or conflict, and I had long since lost sight of my needs<\/strong><\/a> were that needed to be protected. <\/p>\n

How do I reestablish healthy boundaries?<\/h3>\n

If you, too, have a history of boundaries<\/strong> not being respected, you may find yourself constantly trying to please others<\/em>, juggling multiple responsibilities, facing burnout, or dealing with serious boundary violations<\/strong> from others (and sometimes from yourself).<\/p>\n

If you’re having trouble figuring this out on your own, sign up for the online training: How Do I (Re)Establish Healthy Boundaries?<\/strong><\/span><\/a> In this course, I\u2019ll guide you at a gentle pace through the effects of unhealthy boundaries on your daily life right now, such as unhealthy relationships,<\/em> not being able to stop in time, always wanting to help others, not daring to say \u201cno,\u201d or working too hard.<\/p>\n

We also look at the causes rooted in your past, such as parental figures<\/strong> who overstepped your boundaries or failed to teach you healthy boundaries\u2014either because they didn\u2019t have them themselves or because they considered them selfish. And we work extensively on solutions and tools for your daily life, so that you can learn to set healthy boundaries<\/strong> at your own pace and in your own way. <\/p>\n

Here are a few tips for setting boundaries:<\/h3>\n