{"id":4971,"date":"2025-07-25T14:43:25","date_gmt":"2025-07-25T12:43:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ontdekjeheiligegraal.com\/what-is-your-holy-grail\/"},"modified":"2026-06-12T14:59:44","modified_gmt":"2026-06-12T12:59:44","slug":"what-is-your-holy-grail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ontdekjeheiligegraal.com\/en\/what-is-your-holy-grail\/","title":{"rendered":"What is your Holy Grail?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Who are you? How would you answer that question? Usually your name and maybe your profession, right? I\u2019m Rianne\u2026 I\u2019m a healing expert\u2026 I\u2019m Siem\u2019s partner\u2026 I\u2019m a podcast creator\u2026 and yes, it\u2019s true. I *am* all of those things. But who am I really?<\/strong> I\u2019ve asked myself that question hundreds of times during my healing journey<\/strong>. For a long time, I didn\u2019t really know, without realizing that I didn\u2019t know. I just thought that I liked to please people<\/strong>, often took on too much responsibility, and regularly asked just a little too much of myself. That\u2019s just who I am, I thought. Because that\u2019s often how it goes: we think we are our survival mechanisms<\/a> and coping strategies<\/a><\/span>. Until we realize they\u2019re just ways to survive in life. <\/p>\n\n

When I started writing *Discover Your Holy Grail*<\/a>, I truly discovered who I am. I had already been doing a lot of inner work for six years, so I had a pretty good idea by then. But when I mapped out my survival system and my Holy Grail, I realized: Yes! This is who I am. And: this is also who you are. <\/p>\n

Your Holy Grail<\/h4>\n\n

Since its earliest origins, the symbol of the Holy Grail has represented the relief from suffering and the discovery of one\u2019s true self.<\/span> When I read that, I knew: this is going to be the ultimate symbol of the hero\u2019s journey from trauma to healing. Because that is exactly what the inner healing journey is all about: layer by layer, you shed your coping mechanisms to expose all your pain, trauma, and beliefs\u2014and heal from them. This allows the beautiful you to emerge in all your strength, courage, and uniqueness. Then you can live a fully healed life, completely connected to your true self. And let me tell you, that is the good life. <\/p>\n

Who are you really?<\/h4>\n\n

Who are you, then, when you reveal \u201cyourself\u201d? Take a look at Margot Holtman\u2019s illustration from the book Discover Your Holy Grail<\/strong><\/a>. That Holy Grail is you, in your completely healthy and radiant state. You\u2019ll see all kinds of words in it that are inextricably linked to you. Let\u2019s briefly go over them. <\/p>\n\n

Needs and desires<\/h4>\n

At the bottom of your Holy Grail lie your needs and desires<\/strong>. They\u2019re there because your needs are essential, and your desires are the dessert after a good meal. And who doesn\u2019t want the dessert in life, too? Needs are often quite difficult to recognize, because we\u2019ve become so good at covering them up and denying them: \u201cI\u2019ll manage,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t need much.\u201d Well\u2026 not really. We have basic needs that always require recognition and, ideally, integration into our daily lives. In Discover Your Holy Grail\u2014the book, that is\u2014you\u2019ll learn all about these basic needs, why they\u2019re so essential, what happens when you don\u2019t listen to them, and how you can meet them. A little tip, if you\u2019d like to explore this further\u2026 <\/p>\n\n

The body<\/h4>\n

Then there\u2019s our body and our perception<\/strong>. The latter is very often dismissed during our childhood: \u201cMom and Dad are just having a little disagreement; it\u2019s nothing.\u201d \u201cNo, that\u2019s not true.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re being very sensitive.\u201d Because of that structural denial of our perceptions as children, a blueprint emerges that what we experience is not reality. As a result, we don\u2019t trust what we perceive and continue to do so, even as adults. As adults, it is therefore very important to relearn how to trust our perceptions and to take our bodies seriously\u2014especially when it comes to this. After all, here on Earth, we are our bodies. A strong connection with them is essential for living a healthy life. <\/p>\n\n

Thoughts, feelings, and emotions<\/h4>\n

We also have neutral or supportive thoughts, feelings, and emotions<\/strong>. And these are incredibly helpful in guiding our daily lives. But because of judgments from our past, we sometimes find it difficult to look at our thoughts, emotions, and feelings\u2014our Holy Grail\u2014with love. Still, it\u2019s important to learn this, because they are simply part of who we are. Our thoughts, emotions, and feelings come and go like the ebb and flow of the tide. And that\u2019s also good to know: we aren\u2019t always angry, sad, or bored. And we don\u2019t always think about practical matters (I hope!). Yet they form a healthy part of who we are, so acceptance\u2014and preferably nurturing\u2014is the healing path. This illustrious trio is also part of the survival system; I\u2019ll come back to that next week. <\/p>\n\n

What makes you who you are<\/h4>\n

Our character and our traits<\/strong> are the unique expression of who we are. They shape who you truly are in your actions. You can\u2019t really change your character and traits. And that\u2019s exactly the point, because wow, you\u2019re beautiful with your unique character and specific traits. It might not always feel that way, because you\u2019ve formed an opinion about certain personality traits. Maybe because others had a hard time with them or because they made you feel different from others. But you can\u2019t change your character. It makes you who you are. It\u2019s a fun journey of discovery to uncover and embrace this, because no one else has the same combination of traits as you. <\/p>\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m really good at tennis!\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a good leader.\u201d Our skills and talents<\/strong> are a wonderful part of our Holy Grail. They let us shine. Sometimes simply because we\u2019re born with them (talents), and sometimes because we work hard for them (skills). They ensure that we excel and are really good at something. What skills and talents make you happy? <\/p>\n\n

Awareness<\/h4>\n

After all, we are spiritual beings. We have not only a body and a mind, but also consciousness<\/strong>. That is our wise part, the pure essence of our Holy Grail. It is the part of us that is healthy and enters this life free of trauma<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n

So what about intergenerational trauma<\/strong>? Yes, it exists. Absolutely. But it\u2019s tied to our humanity, our DNA, and our genes. Not to our spirit, no matter how much karma you carry with you. \ud83d\ude09 <\/p>\n\n

From within your consciousness, you can analyze, reflect, create, and grow. And this allows you\u2014for example, in times of need\u2014to feel like you are part of the greater whole. The people around you, but also the indescribable\u2014that which I call The Source of unconditional love and life, and which some call God, Allah, or Brahma. That is the power of your consciousness. <\/p>\n\n

You are your true self<\/h4>\n

Let\u2019s recap. You have or are: <\/p>\n