{"id":5328,"date":"2025-08-26T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-26T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ontdekjeheiligegraal.com\/what-is-emotional-pain-trying-to-tell-you\/"},"modified":"2026-06-12T15:06:52","modified_gmt":"2026-06-12T13:06:52","slug":"what-is-emotional-pain-trying-to-tell-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ontdekjeheiligegraal.com\/en\/what-is-emotional-pain-trying-to-tell-you\/","title":{"rendered":"What is emotional pain trying to tell you?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\u201cI feel invisible.\u201d \u201cI feel worthless.\u201d \u201cI feel a deep sadness.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Mental pain<\/strong> is the driving force behind the survival system<\/em>. This means that pain, among other things, triggers the entire system. <\/p>\n

“When we feel emotional pain<\/strong>, we experience rejection<\/strong> or loss<\/strong>.”<\/span><\/p>\n

And these emotions send a signal to our brains: \u201cThis situation isn\u2019t healthy\u2014do something!\u201d Usually, this results in our survival system<\/a> being put on high alert, and we impulsively cover up our pain. How? By becoming afraid of our pain, by employing our survival strategies<\/a>, and by fighting, fleeing, flattering, or freezing. And so, layer by layer, we swiftly activate our entire survival system. <\/p>\n

What causes us to feel emotional pain?<\/h2>\n

Does pain feel the same for everyone? No. Our brains (and especially our amygdalae, our \u201calarm systems\u201d) first determine whether we\u2019ve already experienced that pain before. If so, we\u2019re more likely to sound the alarm during subsequent experiences. Because we\u2019ve been through a similar situation, and it was really unpleasant last time! So you usually react more intensely to something that \u201cresembles\u201d the past than you did before, when you first went through the same experience. And this is despite the fact that you\u2019ve often learned more from that experience and could therefore actually react more mildly. But our brains don\u2019t process that very well. There is no database of wisdom that can be linked to new experiences.<\/span> Above all, there is a database of danger. And pain is danger! <\/p>\n

Safety and Pain<\/h3>\n

Another factor that influences how intense the pain feels is whether you feel you have the time and space to process it. If you\u2019ve been deeply affected mentally or emotionally\u2014for example, by physical abuse or a death\u2014it\u2019s necessary to keep going before you break down. You have to get yourself, and sometimes others, to safety<\/strong> first, or make sure important matters are taken care of first. Only once calm has returned will you notice that your pain is surfacing and demanding attention. <\/p>\n

What have you been through?<\/h3>\n

Finally, when it comes to experiencing pain, it matters how your day\u2014or even your life\u2014has been up until the moment of this new painful experience. If you\u2019ve been through a lot that threw you off course and you haven\u2019t been able to process it, you\u2019ll experience this new situation more intensely than if your life is actually going smoothly and you\u2019re just going through something that throws you off balance for a moment. You bounce back more easily when life is going well than when setbacks seem to be piling up<\/strong>. Unless you have the tools<\/a> and have taken the time to process your past pain. Then you\u2019re actually better equipped to handle new pain than someone experiencing the same situation for the first time. <\/p>\n

Emotional pain: Rejection and loss <\/h2>\n

Let\u2019s delve a little deeper into the phenomenon of mental pain<\/em>. After all, what is it that causes us pain? So, we know that: <\/p>\n