What is your Holy Grail?

Who are you? How would you answer that question? Usually your name and maybe your profession, right? I’m Rianne… I’m a healing expert… I’m Siem’s partner… I’m a podcast creator… and yes, it’s true. I *am* all of those things. But who am I really? I’ve asked myself that question hundreds of times during my healing journey. For a long time, I didn’t really know, without realizing that I didn’t know. I just thought that I liked to please people, often took on too much responsibility, and regularly asked just a little too much of myself. That’s just who I am, I thought. Because that’s often how it goes: we think we are our survival mechanisms and coping strategies. Until we realize they’re just ways to survive in life.

When I started writing *Discover Your Holy Grail*, I truly discovered who I am. I had already been doing a lot of inner work for six years, so I had a pretty good idea by then. But when I mapped out my survival system and my Holy Grail, I realized: Yes! This is who I am. And: this is also who you are.

Your Holy Grail

Since its earliest origins, the symbol of the Holy Grail has represented the relief from suffering and the discovery of one’s true self. When I read that, I knew: this is going to be the ultimate symbol of the hero’s journey from trauma to healing. Because that is exactly what the inner healing journey is all about: layer by layer, you shed your coping mechanisms to expose all your pain, trauma, and beliefs—and heal from them. This allows the beautiful you to emerge in all your strength, courage, and uniqueness. Then you can live a fully healed life, completely connected to your true self. And let me tell you, that is the good life.

Who are you really?

Who are you, then, when you reveal “yourself”? Take a look at Margot Holtman’s illustration from the book Discover Your Holy Grail. That Holy Grail is you, in your completely healthy and radiant state. You’ll see all kinds of words in it that are inextricably linked to you. Let’s briefly go over them.

Needs and desires

At the bottom of your Holy Grail lie your needs and desires. They’re there because your needs are essential, and your desires are the dessert after a good meal. And who doesn’t want the dessert in life, too? Needs are often quite difficult to recognize, because we’ve become so good at covering them up and denying them: “I’ll manage,” “I don’t need much.” Well… not really. We have basic needs that always require recognition and, ideally, integration into our daily lives. In Discover Your Holy Grail—the book, that is—you’ll learn all about these basic needs, why they’re so essential, what happens when you don’t listen to them, and how you can meet them. A little tip, if you’d like to explore this further…

The body

Then there’s our body and our perception. The latter is very often dismissed during our childhood: “Mom and Dad are just having a little disagreement; it’s nothing.” “No, that’s not true.” “You’re being very sensitive.” Because of that structural denial of our perceptions as children, a blueprint emerges that what we experience is not reality. As a result, we don’t trust what we perceive and continue to do so, even as adults. As adults, it is therefore very important to relearn how to trust our perceptions and to take our bodies seriously—especially when it comes to this. After all, here on Earth, we are our bodies. A strong connection with them is essential for living a healthy life.

Thoughts, feelings, and emotions

We also have neutral or supportive thoughts, feelings, and emotions. And these are incredibly helpful in guiding our daily lives. But because of judgments from our past, we sometimes find it difficult to look at our thoughts, emotions, and feelings—our Holy Grail—with love. Still, it’s important to learn this, because they are simply part of who we are. Our thoughts, emotions, and feelings come and go like the ebb and flow of the tide. And that’s also good to know: we aren’t always angry, sad, or bored. And we don’t always think about practical matters (I hope!). Yet they form a healthy part of who we are, so acceptance—and preferably nurturing—is the healing path. This illustrious trio is also part of the survival system; I’ll come back to that next week.

What makes you who you are

Our character and our traits are the unique expression of who we are. They shape who you truly are in your actions. You can’t really change your character and traits. And that’s exactly the point, because wow, you’re beautiful with your unique character and specific traits. It might not always feel that way, because you’ve formed an opinion about certain personality traits. Maybe because others had a hard time with them or because they made you feel different from others. But you can’t change your character. It makes you who you are. It’s a fun journey of discovery to uncover and embrace this, because no one else has the same combination of traits as you.

“I’m really good at tennis!” “I’m a good leader.” Our skills and talents are a wonderful part of our Holy Grail. They let us shine. Sometimes simply because we’re born with them (talents), and sometimes because we work hard for them (skills). They ensure that we excel and are really good at something. What skills and talents make you happy?

Awareness

After all, we are spiritual beings. We have not only a body and a mind, but also consciousness. That is our wise part, the pure essence of our Holy Grail. It is the part of us that is healthy and enters this life free of trauma.

So what about intergenerational trauma? Yes, it exists. Absolutely. But it’s tied to our humanity, our DNA, and our genes. Not to our spirit, no matter how much karma you carry with you. 😉

From within your consciousness, you can analyze, reflect, create, and grow. And this allows you—for example, in times of need—to feel like you are part of the greater whole. The people around you, but also the indescribable—that which I call The Source of unconditional love and life, and which some call God, Allah, or Brahma. That is the power of your consciousness.

You are your true self

Let’s recap. You have or are:

• Your needs and desires
• Your Body and Perception
• Your thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are neutral or healthy
• Your personality and traits
• Your skills and talents
• Your consciousness

You already are and possess all those magnificent parts of your Holy Grail. Yep. Even if you’re still so out of balance or struggling like crazy with yourself and life, you already are that radiant foundation. It’s just buried under all kinds of beliefs, pain, trauma, and countless coping mechanisms. And all those parts of the survival system are, fortunately, not who you are. You only need them temporarily as long as you’re carrying pain around with you. So take another look at that Holy Grail and see which parts of it you see reflected within yourself. What an original being you are, aren’t you? And at the same time so universal, because it’s not just you who is this beautiful Grail—everyone is. And that makes us both unique and connected to one another.

In the coming weeks, you’ll find a new article here every week on a topic from the Discover Your Holy Grail library. Next week: What is the survival system?

Are you curious about discovering your Holy Grail? Then read the books, listen to our weekly podcast on your favorite podcast app, or come to one of our healing events.