Fear of the unknown

Before we get where we want to be, we must first walk the unknown path. My writing role model, Joseph Campbell, calls this “the leap of faith.” Joseph was a literary scholar and developed The Hero’s Journey by studying myths, fairy tales, and religions worldwide. In doing so, he recognized the same story recurring across cultures: that of a hero setting out on a journey. He discovered that once the hero was on his journey, there always came a point where he would, for example, find himself facing a large ravine and had to cross to the other side. The hero knew: my journey is leading me here, whether it makes sense or not.

The hero saw no bridge, no rope, and no one who could help him. The challenge for the hero was to TRUST that the solution would present itself if he dared to take the first step into the ravine.

A crossroads in life; the fear of the unknown

Maybe you’re at a point in your life where you feel deep down that you have to take this path, overcome this obstacle, or face your fears head-on. But man, how I wish I didn’t have to do this.

Because I’m so afraid I won’t make it through that I’d actually rather turn back or just stay here by the ravine for the time being.

Fear of death and uncertainty in life

I’ve had many moments of crisis in my life. One of the most significant was when I decided to get a divorce. I knew it was the right choice for me, but I was also literally terrified.

I was afraid God would kill me—I really was. Back then, I believed that divorce was wrong, and that if I went through with it, I would be going against God.

One day, I sat down to reflect on this and began to question both myself and God. My search led me to the conclusion that, ultimately, if God were to kill me, so be it. I didn’t want to serve a God who could be so cruel. In other words: if there were no invisible bridge across the ravine and I were to fall into it, then so be it.

Anything is better than obeying a God who would let me waste away in an unhealthy marriage. Surrendering myself to the scariest thing that could possibly happen helped me take that step with great courage.

Fear turned into love, and love turned into certainty

Fortunately, my reality turned out to be much brighter than my fears. Not only did I not die (at least not yet, haha), but I immediately felt liberated.

And even though I said goodbye to my first love, I felt more loved than ever—by myself. To top it all off, I met Siem shortly after that. He is still (15 years later) the love of my life.

Three tips for overcoming your fear of the unknown:

Acknowledge your fear: it’s there.
Examine your fear without judgment: what is your fear trying to tell you, and what is it trying to protect you from? And if that terrible scenario does come to pass, will you be powerless in the face of it, or will you be able to draw on your strength to make new plans or create a different sense of security?
Ask yourself this: Are you letting go of something to embrace something new, or are you letting it go because it no longer serves you? There’s no right or wrong answer, but it’s an important question.

In *The Hero’s Journey*, the hero dares to take the first step with confidence. And… it turns out there has been an invisible bridge spanning the ravine all along.

That day, he learned that he had to take the first step himself, only to discover that he was being carried along. And no, you can never be sure of this, but… would you rather choose the alternative?

In December 2025, we had a podcast about the Power of Stillness. Below the article, you can listen to the episode about the power of the unknown.

Does this article appeal to you? You might also want to check out the books by Discover Your Holy Grail. Are you curious about what we organize? Then sign up for one of our events.

My name is Rianne van Kuil, author of Discover Your Holy Grail – Your Hero’s Journey from Trauma to Healing, and a trauma and healing expert. I believe that complete healing from trauma is possible, and I guide people on that journey.

Photo: iStock